


Hooked On A Feeling

by Not_So_Secretly_a_Spaceship, Wolf_Storm



Series: A Pile Of Bones [10]
Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Author Is Sleep Deprived, Crack, F/M, Friendship, I'm Sorry, Minor Injuries, Rescue Missions, The Author Regrets Nothing, Unplanned Wedding, Weddings, Wilderness Survival, wartime wedding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-16
Updated: 2017-07-16
Packaged: 2018-12-03 03:33:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11523678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Not_So_Secretly_a_Spaceship/pseuds/Not_So_Secretly_a_Spaceship, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wolf_Storm/pseuds/Wolf_Storm
Summary: “Your missus says you should have called, Andor,” Solo says over the comm, barely keeping his smirking in check.“Stuff yourself, Solo,” Cassian grinds out, hopping on his crutches as fast as he can, nearly tripping on tree roots.“Hey pal, I’m only here because she threatened to set me on fire if I didn’t go look for you with her,” Solo replies. “You two really need to learn how to ask for favors.”





	Hooked On A Feeling

**Author's Note:**

> So I wrote this thing and now it's kill-me-AM and I wanted to gie it a proof-read in the morning and Spaceship was like "no you post that now", so I apologize for any typos or formulation that don't make sense in English but possibly in my native language (and maybe not even there lol, I'm really friggin sleepy.)
> 
> Warning - I love Han Solo and everyone. Doesn't mean I treat them fair.
> 
> Warnign - this is probably quite cracky.
> 
> Title - Hooked on a Feeling, everybody knows (I hope)

Crashed, injured and stranded in an uninhabited jungle for three weeks. Bodhi can surely imagine worse ways they could have ended after having been blasted from the sky by a TIE fighter, like any of the Imperial patrols sent to locate them being successful. All in all, three weeks in a mildly humid yet warm climate with one of his closest friends, feeding off exotic fruits and hoping that it didn’t happen to be toxic as well (“How do we know it’s not poisonous?” “You know what, I’ll eat a bit and if I’m still alive by evening it’s probably safe for you too.” “Okay.”), playing hide-and-seek with troopers on their tail and avoiding local wildlife? At least it wasn’t time spent in dull boredom, Bodhi thought.

If he could have chosen, he would have preferred that Cassian did not break his leg in the tumble from the skies their ship took after being hit, just like he’d ask for his own shoulder to be in one piece, thank you very much. He would have preferred that neither of them were bruised and concussed and nearly burnt into a crisp as the ship caught fire upon impact (again, dammit). And he would have done without the carnivorous beasts that tried to hunt them down every single night, too - those were probably the main reasons why this planet was populated only by the poles where the woods were sparse, and only by a few hundred thousands of sentients - at least that was what the ship computer told them before it blazed alight.

If Bodhi could have picked any other place he would plan to exercise his crash-landing skills, he would. He just didn’t get a single choice. They were shot down while returning from a routine  check-up on several planets, doing their routine hopping around the Outer Rim to ensure they weren’t being pursued. And as luck would have it, one of their realspace windows opened just to the vicinity of a Star Destroyer on high alert. Bodhi barely managed to avoid smashing their U-wing into the Destroyer, but paid for that with their already wonky hyperdrive finally giving out. After that, it was a series of dodging, shooting back with all they had (not much) and trying to keep his cool down, which lasted only to the moment they got a direct hit and the ship became completely inoperable, caught in the planet’s gravity and falling down.

(“Be glad we got caught by this planet and not its star,” Cassian had said, still dazed, after they crawled out of the wreckage, before it burned down completely. It sounded like he was speaking from rich experience, which alarmed Bodhi even more. Damnit, Bodhi has never crash-landed before his defection, and now it seemed like just another day in the office for everybody else.

“Do you know you’ve been involved in all my crash-landings?” he asked the spy later, when they were immobilizing each other’s broken bones. “You, personally.”

“Apologies,” Cassian said, tying ripped strips of a shirt around Bodhi’s busted shoulder. “It’s not intentional. You really are a great pilot, by the way.”)

Three weeks on, barely any closer to a civilisation-inhabited pole, Bodhi is ready to kiss anyone who comes to save them, or kill them - by this point he’d take either. He’s hungry. He’s hurting. He smells, and so does Cassian, who must also be hungry and hurting. Due to his broken leg, Bodhi had to prop him here and there on their journey across the jungle where the terrain didn’t allow using crutches and though the man is skinny enough to receive raised eyebrows and well-meant questions half the time he ventures into any sort of society, he’s taller than Bodhi and made of bones, which in turns makes him quite a heavy burden to carry on a torn shoulder. The first night they tried to climb a tree for safety was also the last night they tried anything like that - after that, they agreed to sleep in four-hour rotations.

So when they glimpse aircrafts flying above through the trees and identify them as Millenium Falcon being chased by a couple of TIEs, Bodhi thinks, _it’s finally over, now get me a shower and a caf or give me death._

Luckily, Falcon soon sends all pursuing TIEs to the ground in flames (one of them nearly hitting Bodhi and Cassian, because why not) and they can turn on their wrist transmitters to announce their location, now that friend is more likely to pick them up than foe. Soon enough, Falcon is landing barely a click away on a riverbank, the only place nearby the ship can go down for the thick vegetation. Han Solo sounds smug as always (“Hope we’re not interrupting something, boys, but your vacation is over!”), Chewbacca groans something that could be interpreted as affectionate death threat, and there are noises of Jyn Erso yelling at Solo to hand her the microphone, to no success.

“Your missus says you should have called, Andor,” Solo says over the comm, barely keeping his smirking in check.

“Stuff yourself, Solo,” Cassian grinds out, hopping on his crutches as fast as he can, nearly tripping on tree roots.

“Hey pal, I’m only here because she threatened to set me on fire if I didn’t go look for you with her,” Solo replies. “You two really need to learn how to ask for favors.”

“Whatever,” Cassian barks out, and finally it hardly matters because the Falcon is in sight and Bodhi can barely keep up with how quickly Cassian is limping forward. Finally, the ship’s ramp is sinking and Jyn is running out to them, colliding with Cassian and throwing herself around him. Bodhi can only see her hands flicking up and down the captain’s body, no doubt searching for any wounds that are not visible, yet their faces remain smashed together and they seem to be oblivious to everything else.

“Come on, kid,” Solo says, suddenly at Bodhi’s good side, and drapes the pilot’s arm across his shoulder. “You know how they are. Eyes just for one another and all that, tooth-rottingly sweet.”

“Thanks, Han,” Bodhi grinds out, because someone should probably show some gratitude, and he is very grateful for being rescued.

“Any time, pal,” the smuggler waves him off, and as he leads them to the ship around the newly reunited couple he jovially smacks Jyn by the shoulder. Hard enough to nearly send her flying, and for Cassian to swear, holding his nose. “Time to go, kids, you don’t wanna mess around here when the next patrol comes, do you?”

Bodhi can hear his friends making their way behind his back - “Here, lean on me.” “I can walk, I don’t always need you to -” “Shut up and lean on me, _please_.” - before he’s fully engulfed in thick brown fur and hugged so hard his ribs might crack.

“Oh hello, Chewie,” Bodhi babbles, trying not to asphyxiate. His Shyriiwook is not exactly up to date, and he only understands very little of what Chewie is telling him. “Yeah yeah, glad to see you too. It was dreadful. Yes I’m hungry, very much. Wait no - I smell bad? Well, thanks for that…”

“Come on, Chewie, I’ve got this one,” Han Solo says, and points his thumb behind his back. “Pick up that one so we can leave before the Falcon starts growing mushrooms.”

There’s a commotion in the back - “Hi Chewie - no, no I don’t need to - aaaaah, set me down!” - and then a very glowering Captain Andor is being carried up the ramp in the arms of a Wookie that looks quite proud of himself as he gently deposits the man into the back chair in the cockpit. After that, the ship rises up and flies on, entering orbit from a different point than on the way in and then jumping to hyperspace.

“What took you so bloody long?” Bodhi asks once they’re safe with the stars flying past them in smudges. “We’ve been there for ages!”

“Well don’t look at me!” Han cries, turning around in his chair with his hands held up. “I didn’t even know you were missing until this one -,” points to Jyn, “- came breathing on my neck that either I give her a lift or I had five seconds to live!”

Both Bodhi and Cassian turn to Jyn, puzzled. She just shrugs from her side chair, half-facing them. “It might have been ten.”

Chewie squeals and shakes his head.

“Damn right you are, Chewie, nobody with their head right on wants to be messed up by Erso,” Han continues. “We’ve been looking for you for a few standard days, not my fault if your girl came to me a bit late.”

Jyn shoots him a dark look. “I would have come a lot earlier if I knew where to start looking,” she mutters. “When you didn’t come back on time, I thought that it just took you a bit longer. Then I started asking around, but nobody would tell me anything, because your status was -”

“- Classified,” Cassian sighs. “Of course it would.”

“Turns out, without authorisation I wouldn’t be even told whether you’re alive or not!” Jyn spits out. “Nobody would tell me anything or let me near your mission logs. In the end I had to hack them and find out that your signal last went out from this quadrant.”

“Wait,” Cassian says, blinking at her, baffled. “You hacked the Alliance’s archives?”

Solo laughs out loud. “Yeah, she did! Boy, this girl is really something.”

“I didn’t exactly do it alone,” Jyn specifies, but a tiny proud smile is etching on her lips. Both Bodhi and Cassian continue to stare at her like she’s suddenly sporting a second head. “Oh my, you know that tiny old astromech that’s constantly tailing Skywalker like a lost puppy? Well, he’s much more agreeable to doing favors then most people I’ve ever dealt with, and he’s pretty good at fixing the breach after himself.”

Cassian’s eyes nearly fall out from his head. “You used R-2 to hack the Alliance?!”

“Just to find you, and you’re welcome!” Jyn states, like it’s beyond obvious. “I wouldn’t have to if they just told me flat out, but apparently we’d have to be married or something for them to inform me when you go missing.”

Solo laughs again, harder. “Yeah, like that’s ever going to happen eh?”

Suddenly, Cassian looks mildly distressed, eyes firmly bolted to the floor. “We could,” he pipes out.

Four pairs of eyes are trained on him in less than a second. “What?” Jyn asks, completely taken aback.

“We could get married,” Cassian says in a slightly firmer tone, but his fidgeting hand betrays him. “I mean, it wouldn’t have to be a proper wedding, just to hold up to lawful requirements. Just an authorised person pronouncing us husband and wife, that’s all.” He looks at Jyn, hesitant and hopeful at the same time. “The sooner the better, I think. If that’s what you want.”

Jyn stares back at him, lost for words and completely still, until finally, finally she nods.

Chewie squeals happily.

Bodhi wipes his cheeks with the sleeve of his filthy tunic.

Han turns his chair to them and crosses his arms. “Well, I hate to interrupt this fascinatingly romantic proposal, most romantic I’ve ever seen by far, but tell me, loverboy: how many wedding officiators do you know? Should we just make a stop at Lovesick Planet and ask around? I doubt you two, or any of us in fact, can show our faces to any regular nuptials site without taking a blaster bolt between our eyes straight away, don’t you think?”

Cassian looks ready to argue for a second, ready to finally let out his pent-up frustration and then suddenly, he and Bodhi and Jyn are eyeing each other in a very suspicious way, nodding here and there in a creepy conversation without words.

Then, Chewie roars and claps his enormous hands.

“Okay, what the hell is going on?!” Han demands, bewildered at being the only person on board who is not on board with the joke.

“Well,” Bodhi says, turning to him and damn him, the idiot has the nerve to giggle, “we are on a vessel, are we not? On a vessel in space in fact. That gives you, the captain of said vessel, the authority to officiate an alliance, if you so choose and if there are two witnesses present to confirm consent.”

There are now giggles all around.

“What? No! Are you all daft?” Han shrieks. “I won’t marry you, in any sense of that word, no! I can’t!”

Chewie howls again. It sounds nearly like singing.

“Yes I understand that technically, I can, but I won’t!” Solo shakes his head. “This needs some silly law forms and anything, they don’t even have the right clothes on! Look I’m sorry, but how legal would that be?”

“Totally legal,” Bodhi waves his hand. “Captain’s word is all you need.”

Cassian and Jyn exchange a hopeful, yearning look, and then Jyn is up from her seat and standing next to Cassian’s, holding his hand.

“Please,” the spy says in an actual, honest, pleading tone.

“Please, Han,” Erso joins in. “Do it for us.”

“Look, I understand -” Solo starts, but is interrupted by Chewbacca slamming a datapad into his face. “What the hell, Chewie - what’s this, a fill-in _marriage certificate?_! Where did you get that?”

Chewbacca yelps joyously.

 _“Standard component of starship documentation,_ Chewie, are you having me on?!”

The Wookie roars again, shaking his head, and Han takes a deep breath, releasing it as an even deeper sigh.

“Alright, are you two really sure of this?” he asks, atypically serious. “You sure?”

The fiancés both nod. “It's just in case,” Jyn says, holding Cassian's elbow in one hand, the other having the fingers interlaced with his hand.

They all know that this is the furthest thing from  _just in case,_ but keep tactfully silent.

“Two witnesses,” Han says again. “Do we have two witnesses?”

“Yeah, me,” Bodhi yelps, and Chewie raises his paw. “Us two, I mean. We both consent.”

“Brilliant,” the captain sighs again. “Right, do you have any specific wishes? Rings or what do I know, flower crowns? Tattoos? Clothes? Please mate, don’t dress your bride what you’re wearing just now, I’d have to cry for her sake.”

“No, nothing like that,” Cassian shakes his hand and slowly, painfully pulls himself to his feet. “Just your word, and your confirmation.”

“Do you know each other’s state of health at least?” Han asks again, out of ideas. “And your real names, when we’re at it?”

They both nod again. “No-one knows me better,” Jyn whispers, and her face looks much more tender than it ever has.

“Force, you’re really making me do this,” Solo sighs again, and leans over the console to grab a half-empty bottle of Corellian gin. “Right, back home we use water from a holy spring, but this will have to do.” He opens the bottle and splashes Jyn and Cassian with its contents, downing the rest in a single gulp. “There. Husband and wife. Kiss, for kriff’s sake.”

They do, and after they both sign the makeshift wedding certificate (after which the new groom tips over back into his seat, assisted by the bride), with an added signature by Bodhi and a thumbprint by Chewie, Han seals their marriage with his own signature at the bottom of the form.

“I’m afraid this is all completely illegal as far as the Empire is interested,” he quips then, “so don’t hope much there. Now you two,” he points to Cassian and Bodhi, “stop stinking up my ship and go take a shower, for goodness’s sake. And Andor, Erso, or whatever you’ll be calling yourselves now, I don’t want any wedding night jazz on this ship, the walls are thin!”

However, they do fall into the refresher together once Bodhi is out, claiming that Cassian’s broken leg needs support, and stay in most of the way back to Hoth.

**Author's Note:**

> so this has basically been 2,6k words of nonsense, please let me know what you think guys <37
> 
> EDIT: 17/07/17 - fixed some glaring errors that drove me up the wall and filled up a few words, hope you still like!


End file.
